HEADLINES: Papers are having unprotected sex and multiplying like rabbits

September 7, 2006. Cincinnatio, Ohio. Papers laying on desks of offices around the country have had an increase in birth rates. As there is nothing to do, often for days, these flat, reincarnations of trees have found themselves madly making love and producing offspring, sometimes in excess of 10 new papers an evening. Why this sudden increase in birthrate? Some experts say that it is because the work is piling up so rappidly that these papers are being forgotton, sometimes abandoned and it is the only solice to procreate. Others say it is because of the poor planning on the part of the owner of the desk. Even when the papers are told to get in files or form piles, this does not remedy the situation. Something needs to be done immediatly. This is a problem, and birth control needs to be given freely to these lonesome papers.