Saturday, December 29, 2007

Monday, December 24, 2007

Sunday, December 02, 2007

found not my card reader but a cord that does the trick...


my pumpkin


me in kindergarten - the one with the pigtails...


my grade school - st. salomes - which is now being torn down...


my christmas tree

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

it's funny

i was reading back on my rants - starting from the beginning... i've really tames shit down from then. but i realized that i really have not written anything thing -- like serously written something... i read this:

it's funny how you lose sight of the earth - well, nature i guess. i was sitting outside and looked at the clouds and watched the sun light the edges. and i listened. an alarm was methodically beeping, a car alarm went off, a paper blew off the table, the birds started chirping, and the wind rustled through the leaves. you forget that kinda of shit when the phone is ringing, people are whining, keyboards are clicking. i though of walking in the Upper Basin and the wind blowing through those trees and those birds flying what seemed to be inches above me head. i thought about peaceful and lonley the land was. how beautiful it was and how, if everything came to an end, i might feel safe there. in part it was the company too, but what if the electric stopped in the city, the water stopped. people would be fucked. i would be fucked, but i think, if everything was to be flattened, that is when people would truly rise to be real humans. conveniences just makes you forget how small you really are and makes you forget how truely beautiful everything is that you are not seeing because you are too busy.

i remember writing that... i don't think my thoughts have changed - but i wonder if i have -- i wonder if i have become more comfortable in things -- when i should not be -- or i let myself slide - or my personality slide - when i should not have - or just because i have become lazy. i feel lazy- well, less disciplined... that is not good... and i don't like that. but then things blow up in my brain - and i feel like everything is out of control - and is as messy as my bedroom - and i cannot see the forest through the trees. new year's resolution -- starts tomorrow... discipline.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

i don't really have much to say today. i'm not caught up with my sleep. i did a bunch of yard work -- which i enjoyed. really enjoyed. and the mini got a bath. i filled up an entire garbage bag of shit from the car... not good. now, i need a bath. oh - and my britsh shows are on tonight... i can't wait for them. quiet. stressless. zzzzzzzz........

Saturday, August 11, 2007



Harold died. He's in the garden now.

Actually - I think the damn dog just dug him up.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

...only the strong shall survive...

i was listening to a collective soul song "she said" as i was driving home today... it's a nice song.

it's been another relatively rough week. nothing new in the land of our heroin. but as she was sitting in the cave, buckets under the dripping stalactites... she thought - what is it to be strong...

strength i guess is a frame of mind. but idiots can think they are strong. it is not a psychical thing. it is about knowledge. but idiots often think they are right... but i don't think it is about how much - or what you know. maybe it is about how much you emotionally know. how much you know about yourself, about people you come in contact with... about the situation you are presented with, and how you deal with it. i guess being strong is knowing yourself and what your limits are. when someone says "act like an adult" - that could be one of the stupidest things to say. for one - what adult acts like an adult? is strength stoicism? i dunno, actually - stoicism, although honorable - is not what i would want - because it is done- i think- for the benifit of others... i might be wrong here... but strength i think encorporats everything --- especially you - what you think, believe, want... in any event - i'm really not sure what it is. but i want some...

GO HOME YOU BLITHERING BAG OF SEAWEED! THE GREAT OZ HAS SPOKEN!

Saturday, July 14, 2007

another saturday







the "patio" i made last saturday - a rake, 8 bags of pea gravel, and some bricks.




my romas...


and their friends.


my night garden, which i have yet to see any night flowers - but this is the most morning flowers I have had.

Saturday, July 07, 2007

quiet on a saturday morning

i just saw a robin and his girl hopping from branch to branch, quietly chasing eachother. henry, laying here besides me, just watching the world. today is going to be a quiet day. i'm going to bury myself in my backyard and clean it up - listen to the birds and the traffic.

my head has been anything but quiet. i wish it was, though. i've been mean. i'm frustrated. i'm very tired. i'm tired of trying not to be tired. i'm tired of talking and smiling.

i had a dream last night that i was at a show and delia was there. we were having a quiz on the prices of things. there was this giant blanket of some sort - i had no idea what it was, or what it was worth. and everyone, including her, looked at me and laughed. i felt like i had learned nothing on my desert trip and i was a dissapointment. i had no idea what anything was. and at the same time, i somehow made a fool of myself, i think i drank too much or something, and someone told me to go home early, because there was no point in me being there and i was embarrassing everyone.

Saturday, June 30, 2007

danica in the desert




and so i drove... drove until the road ended...










and yes, i know this picture is sideways... it's the desert heat.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

gone. but not forgotton.

and the critters packed their bags and left. just left. did not say goodbye, no note. just took their babies, their luggage and vanished. crazy.

Monday, June 11, 2007

and as in all great stories, the evil seeps through the walls, oozes through the cracks, penetrates the soul... and when there appears to be no chance of the light of day, there is a glimmer of hope...

there are 50-60 bats living and breeding in my attic... at least. but - i know where they are - they are sealed up with the handyman's secret weapon -- and a trap will be set soon...

strangly enough i do crave the taste of raw meat...

Sunday, June 10, 2007

yes - i guess this day was bound to come... the purple villita, 122 years young, is infested with bats. at the moment (with garlic tied around my neck and wooden stake at my side) there have been no sightings tonight. that is, inside. however, over the past three days, five bats have lost their lives and a sixth has gone missing within these lilac walls. i am starting to think that death befell these creatures because of ben and his stealth. had i not inturrupted, ben would have killed the sixth and missing bat. at least i would have known where it rested. and in death, these flying creatures emit the most putrid smell, as if hell itself has opened its gates to welcome them back home.

all i ask is that they stay outside.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

mother day 2007...

And a youth said, "Speak to us of Friendship."
Your friend is your needs answered.
He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving.

And he is your board and your fireside.
For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace.
When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the "nay" in your own mind, nor do you withhold the "ay."

And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart;
For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed.
When you part from your friend, you grieve not;
For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.

And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit.
For love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery is not love but a net cast forth: and only the unprofitable is caught.

And let your best be for your friend.
If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also.
For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill?
Seek him always with hours to live.
For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness.

And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures.
For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

saturday


the rock wall




more bricks...



and i cut the grass - and now i drink a beer.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

okay mommy...

here are some pictures foy you...


my deck with the umbrella that was in the basement - and my plants that i hope will thrive - and the blue pots i stole this weekend (my basil is in one and the rosemary is in the other).


the peonies...



a little thing i built - i moved some of the moss that was growing by my basement and planted it on top of it -- the moss hasn't died yet...


these are the 4:00's and moon flowers and the morning glories... i still have one pot where the plants just started coming up - and i don't know what they are - but the will live here with these guys...

the side yard with the grass you planted...


and the snake henry killed... i knew you wanted to see that.

Sunday, April 29, 2007

a year later...



henry pondering the once mud pit... wondering which spot of the new grass to pee on and dig up...



my garden...



my blueberry bush. yum!

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

my backyard


my fire.



what i did tonight.







henry. overlooking his kingdom.

Saturday, April 14, 2007

another rainy day

the sauce is cooking. i'm trying something a little different -- well, i'm trying to get the sauce to have layers of flavour. i put in the mysterious carrots and celery this time. i think i will blend them all up when they are done and dump them back in. but it is a sleep kinda day. i've been really tired this week. the villita is a wreck - papers strewn everywhere - my plants are homeless at the moment because i took their table away. but, i think they might get it back. but here are some of my plants... grow little guys, grow...